Andy RooneyAs I grow in age,  I value women over 40 most of all.  Here are  just a few reasons why:

A woman over  40 will  never wake you in the middle of the  night and ask, 'What are you   thinking?'  She doesn't care what you  think.  If a woman over  40 doesn't want  to watch the game, she doesn't sit around   whining about it.   She does something  she wants to do,  and it's usually more  interesting.    Women over 40  are dignified.  They  seldom have  a screaming match with you  at the opera or  in the middle of an expensive   restaurant.  Of  course, if you deserve  it, they won't hesitate to shoot  you  if  they think they can get away with  it.   Older women are  generous  with praise,  often undeserved.    They know what  it's like to be unappreciated. Women get  psychic as they  age.   You never have to confess your  sins to a woman over  40.  Once you get  past a  wrinkle or two, a woman over 40   is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older  women are forthright  and honest.   They'll tell you right off you are a jerk if   you are acting like one.   You don't  ever have to wonder  where you stand with  her..  Yes, we praise women over 40 for  a  multitude of reasons.  Unfortunately,  it's not  reciprocal.  For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot  woman  over 40, there is a  bald, paunchy relic in  yellow pants  making a fool of himself with  some 22-year old waitress.  Ladies, I   apologize.

For all  those men who say, 'Why buy the  cow when you  can get the milk for free?', here's an update for  you.    Nowadays 80% of women are  against marriage. Why? Because women realize  it's not worth buying an entire pig  just to  get a little sausage!

 

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