Dear Dr. Eve, I don't think I have a poor self-concept. I feel pretty good about myself. But this is a big university, and it's easy to get lost in the crowd. How do I go about meeting people?
DR. EVE ANSWERS:
I wonder how old you are.. if you are a late stage student then you will feel somewhat out of the estrogen/testosterone population . And they make up the majority on any campus. I wonder what you would have in common with one of these wonderfully naïve and youthful students. And there is little chance for you to meet the love of your life- unless you break the rules and have it off with your professor/tutor.
If you are one of these youthful students you need to have big balls (non gender specific) to be able to find yourself on a campus. Perhaps you have moved from another town to a big university and are simply overwhelmed with being one of many- and many of you look the same. And if you don’t look like them, you may very well feel pressured to as you want friends.
University is a place of rebirth. A place in which you leave behind your childhood and engage as an adult in adult world. So best to break your own rules and go into this world with curiosity and openness.
This does not mean indulge till-you-puke in the drugs, sex and rock n roll world – this is never healthy. Break your rules that says don’t speak to strangers- speak to strangers who you feel would be interesting to you, find them in places that are interesting for you. And go even further into your adulthood and carry condoms with you- for those “just in case” moments. It can be incredibly lonely and so I encourage you to haul your ass out of fear , and be active in finding a community to which you can belong.
